Purple Shoes and the Holy Fool

My folks live in Naples, Florida in the wintertime, so we usually go to stay with them over the Christmas holidays. Our visit this year concluded with my partner, Ryan, and I flying into Detroit, Michigan. Our flight arrived in the evening, so we were both tired out when we finally got down to the baggage claim area. That’s probably why we missed our bag going by on the conveyer belt.

Impulsively, I dashed forward to grab the heavy bag, dressed in my travel “uniform” of stretchy black pants, hot pink and purple tops, backpack strapped across my shoulders, and my Saguaro barefoot shoes in all of their bright purple and blue splendor.

I underestimated the weight of the bag so when I grabbed for it, it slipped out of my weak grip. Then my knight in shining armor, a stranger who saw my wobbling attempt, hauled the bag off the conveyer belt for me. Flustered by his unexpected arrival, I stepped back to get out of his way – and promptly tripped over his bag.

Backward I fell, bright purple shoes waving in the air, as I landed like a turtle flipped on its shell.

Guess what I did next?

I laughed!

Now this was a huge moment of growth for me.

You see, I was a self-conscious kid and adult for most of my life. Making a fool of myself in front of a huge crowd of strangers would have mortified me when I was younger – maybe even if it had happened just a couple of years ago.

But instead of wanting to hide under a rock, I was laughing my head off!

And you know what? It worked great. I thanked the kind stranger who was probably embarrassed for me, smiled at all the onlookers, and headed out to catch our ride, completely untraumatized by the experience.

How great was that?

I share this because this month I’ve been working with my mentoring clients on unpacking how we feel safe and secure in the world. Our approach for this typically developed between the ages of just born to eight years old. As you can imagine, what worked for us at that age is probably a bit out of date for our adult self. But most of the time, we still walk around falling into the same habitual responses.

My own work on this taught me that embracing the Holy Fool – that which is foolish and undignified in me – is actually how I feel safe. When I can lighten up, laugh at my own foibles, then I’m not caught in a mire of self-criticism and shame. It frees me from all the torment that comes from attempting to stand in my dignity.

Oh, the stories I could tell of how well trying to appear dignified worked for me over the years . . . Insert a flash back to teacher Nancy walking down the hall of Sharon Elementary School, after a trip to the restroom, long skirt caught in her underwear as she waves and smiles at students and colleagues. Ahh – good times.

So how about you? What is your habitual response to embarrassment or fear? Does it leave you feeling empowered afterwards? If not, perhaps it is time to explore a new approach.

If you need some help, reach out and we’ll set up a time to chat.

Sending much love to you all!